Log in

November 2008   01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
I will be your ticket taker...

today's treat

Posted by shi_chans_box on 2006.11.28 at 16:23
I feel: exhaustedexhausted
Before I begin this piece, I would like to mention something. I am looking for feedback. I am really trying to get over this fear of sharing my works. I write mainly for myself and my music (which is something else I rarely share!!). But I would like to do something in the realms of publishing my work in the not so far off future. I know not everyone is going to like my poems. That is fine, I don't like every single bloody author that makes a "book". But when I do get to the point that I put this book together, I want to only select the best of my poetry.

I have been told by people that my words are very heavy. So seeing that we are all of like minds here, you all will be able to handle it.

And with that I present

...slice me open
biting through my flesh
I'm just about to run, I'm terrified
But you were hungry
So I went on
Fed you what I could
I can't do this anymore

I fall down, collapse in on myself
shaking, shivering all over
This fever, boiling fast inside
There I lay
You stroke my hair
lips part, air exhaling
You can't hear what I said

It's racing though my heart
It's crawling through my skin
I want to be free
don't want to let it in
It moves through my veins,
ripping more and more at my soul
Can't let it claim me...

One pill to take
for I don't know how many days
Then I can be me

Virginia Faith
July 1997


Lady Strange
ladistrange at 2006-11-29 14:17 (UTC) (Link)

truth takes time....

I am very much enjoying the work you have chosen to share, and I apologize for not saying so sooner.

The poems do make me think, and are very evocative. The problem I have with commenting is I usually do most of my personal on line stuff at work, and the busy phones, constant staff questions and general mundane Hell of my 9 to 5 make it hard for me to frame those comments.

PLEASE keep sharing...I'll keep reading :). I hope to put some of my own stuff up...you've actually inspired me to perhaps start writing a bit more myself. I used to do it alot, but like so many things that part of me got buried under the responsibilities of being a middle class working wife and mother.

Time, I think, to exhume it :)
Verlise Vancett
verlise at 2006-11-29 14:41 (UTC) (Link)
I don't believe you will have reason to worry about posting heavy words in the forum. I don't speak for everyone, but I know most of us enjoy poetry or writings for that matter, that will take our souls/minds and put some weight on them, until they are breathless.

That being said: I love the imagery that you create. Also, I enjoy the way you decided to break you lines and stanzas. It gives the effect like the poem itself is running from something.

As ladystrange pointed out, it is nice to have someone share their work and it inspires me to do more of the same.
Previous Entry  Next Entry